At some point along our parenting journey, we may have experienced that feeling of guilt to some level or another, for something we did or didn’t do for our children. We all make those perceived Mommy mistakes. Forgetting something important. Losing our tempers in the heat of the moment when we misunderstood an action. Working late. Missing school events. Being too busy with work to be a volunteer Mom at school. Letting the kids eat something that’s unhealthy because we’re just enough of negotiating. Whatever your perceived mistakes, you could let them go.
Holding onto that feeling of guilt is more of a disfavour to our children than not because it’s keeping us trapped in the past. And when we’re trapped in the past, it’s that much more challenging to be truly present with what is happening in the moment and to appreciate the value of the experience. Guilt holds us back and keeps us from appreciating the value of what we have in our children and we just try and make up for that guilt in all we do; thereby generating further feelings of guilt.
So how do we let go of the feelings of guilt? You could make a list of all the things that you feel you have or haven’t done to or for your children. Whatever comes to mind, and how ever simple and silly it may seem, write it down. Now think about each action and ask how what you did or didn’t do is actually helping your children grow and learn? Then you can even take it a step further and think about how the action is actually part of your own development and growth.
As we begin to appreciate the experiences which we have had or we have given to our children, we are brought into a state of appreciation which leads us to experience the true love of our children. That’s when we can truly be present for ourselves, our children and everyone in our lives ~ Alison Livanos.