Let go of the guilt, Mom


At some point along our parenting journey, we may have experienced that feeling of guilt to some level or another, for something we did or didn’t do for our children. We all make those perceived Mommy mistakes. Forgetting something important. Losing our tempers in the heat of the moment when we misunderstood an action. Working late. Missing school events. Being too busy with work to be a volunteer Mom at school. Letting the kids eat something that’s unhealthy because we’re just enough of negotiating. Whatever your perceived mistakes, you could let them go.

Holding onto that feeling of guilt is more of a disfavour to our children than not because it’s keeping us trapped in the past. And when we’re trapped in the past, it’s that much more challenging to be truly present with what is happening in the moment and to appreciate the value of the experience. Guilt holds us back and keeps us from appreciating the value of what we have in our children and we just try and make up for that guilt in all we do; thereby generating further feelings of guilt.

So how do we let go of the feelings of guilt? You could make a list of all the things that you feel you have or haven’t done to or for your children. Whatever comes to mind, and how ever simple and silly it may seem, write it down. Now think about each action and ask how what you did or didn’t do is actually helping your children grow and learn? Then you can even take it a step further and think about how the action is actually part of your own development and growth. 

As we begin to appreciate the experiences which we have had or we have given to our children, we are brought into a state of appreciation which leads us to experience the true love of our children. That’s when we can truly be present for ourselves, our children and everyone in our lives ~ Alison Livanos.

Finding the Love

Love and Acceptance

It’s no secret that being a Mom introduces a whole new world of challenges. Even a whole new Universe of fascinating trials and tribulations and they don’t seem to disappear. As we feel we’ve overcome a challenge and grown to a new level, new challenges appear and they just keep evolving to a whole new level.  

From the pregnancy pressures to the blessed baby days to the trying toddler years to the cherished childhood years; we always do our best with the knowledge, awareness and strength we have in the moment, even if we think we’re not. And somewhere between doing our best and the trials and tribulations, so often we feel the inadequacy of ourselves. And we beat ourselves up, judge ourselves, criticize our efforts and at the end of the day, we wonder where we’re going with all of this.  

The truth is that Motherhood is part of our journey and there is so much we can learn from our own children. Our children are our mirrors and their behaviour mirrors exactly what we feel about and do to ourselves.  

You see, deep within all of us is a child, longing for love and approval. And that child carries all the beliefs and knowledge which she has gained from your own childhood years, both healthy and unhealthy. And when we acknowledge and learn to love the child within us, something magical happens: we begin to understand and appreciate our own children’s actions. We begin to understand their feelings and the reason why they say and do the things they do. And that’s where our healing begins. And as we start healing our own inner child, our children start responding differently to us.  

As a Mom of twin daughters and an elder daughter, I have often wondered why I was picked to raise these incredibly high energy children. They are energetic and adventurous with a love for life and fun. When I get stressed and frazzled, they join in on the fun and poke buttons in the middle of my brain which they know will get reactions out of me. And they know exactly what to do to get my emotions flowing. And that’s challenging.  

When I discovered that I was ignoring my own child within and I was constantly criticizing myself, I started realizing why my children ignore me and disregard my feelings. And as I connected with my own inner child and started my own healing journey, my children started acknowledging me and my feelings and started listening to what I have to say. And I started seeing how incredibly amazing little humans they are, just as they are, even when they make mistakes.  

So how do we find the love in Motherhood? Connect with your child within. Get to know her. Love her. Show her compassion. And understand why she feels the way she does. And as we do this, we begin to understand why our children do the things they do. And as we grow our love and acceptance for our own inner child, our love and acceptance shines through to our own children. And that’s an incredible gift to both them and yourself for life ~ Alison Livanos.

The Joy of Challenges

stormsLife can sometimes seem filled with challenges; some call it struggles and others could call it problems. The truth is these challenges have been created through our own way of thinking about our circumstances. By worrying, we focus on the worst possible outcome, and we are then creating our reality with the fear of that very reality. As challenged as we may feel to accept that, it’s the truth.  

As we focus on everything that could go wrong, we miss out on the joy of the journey and what could possibly go really well. This latent fear of some sort then pushes away the very outcome of that which we actually deeply desire.   

Having grown up in a home where we were often financially challenged and living on credit, I use to worry constantly that I wouldn’t have enough to raise three children. I feared this deeply and as the challenges started mounting such as cancelled client contracts and piling up overdue bills, I realized that this worrying about not having enough was actually creating all of these financial challenges.  

As we start to focus our thoughts and emotions on a positive outcome and on the very thing that we really want, we start to recreate our lives to one that we love.  

I started focussing my thoughts on what I wanted and why. My objective was clear, to give us the life we deserve. I focussed all my thoughts on my love for my children and what I loved about myself and my life: the small free joys in life such as nature and time together as a family, my warm home, all this even though money was still a challenge.  

When we catch the thoughts created through tension, fear, anger and sadness, in their tracks and choose to rather focus on thoughts created in love, calm and joy, we can begin to create an inspired life.  

We could rather switch our problems and struggles to challenges. Focus on what we have to be grateful for in these challenges. And as this gratitude grows, we begin to see and accept the gifts in the challenges such as growing stronger, which will begin to change our lives in the most positive of ways ~ Alison Livanos.  

Discovering Your Passion


Amidst the chaos and confusion of this world, we sometimes get carried away by the tidal wave of society’s expectations of us. We choose a career based on other people’s expectations, sometimes our parents or school teachers and even what the media portrays as successful. We create beliefs about ourselves and life, both positive and negative, by the way that adults respond to us as children and then we create our lives around these belief systems. And then we have children. And somewhere between doing our best to balance Mom duties and the working world, we forget who we truly are and what we are actually here to do in the first place.

We all have a set of highest values that we live by and it is within these that we find our passion. A life purpose. A destiny. Call it what you may. And sometimes, more so than not, what we think we have to do, doesn’t really fit with what we love to do. Instead it’s according to someone else’s values. And when we are dragging ourselves along doing what we think we have to do, our bodies start taking strain. Our emotions become overwhelming. Challenges seem to grow. The children demand our love and attention. And well, how can we give them the unconditional love they need when we are somehow not feeling the love for ourselves and our career.

Life is one big journey. And our children are part of our journey. And we all have a destiny, the reason we are here in the first place and our children are part of our journey and our lessons. When we find our destiny and our purpose and begin the steps towards living that passion, our love for life grows along with our love for everyone and everything else, including our children.

As we ignite our passion within, we begin to live life according to our own personal values and we begin to grow and flourish. We make money doing what we love. Our health and wellness comes into balance with less harmful stress. Our relationships flourish. And our love for ourselves grows stronger and stronger.

How do we ignite our passion within? By remembering who we truly are and what we truly love about ourselves and life and when we discover what you truly love and who you truly are, that’s where your passion lies. Deep within your heart ~ Alison Livanos.