Many of us spend our days chasing time. Rushing to drop or fetch children from school. Racing to get to meetings. Stressing about being late. Worrying about meeting deadlines. And when we look again, we ask, “Where did the time go?” When actually, time didn’t go anywhere, we just missed out on the good stuff while we were rushing to chase being on time. The truth is your time is your choice and there is always enough time to do everything we need to do, when we believe it.
There is always enough time
The alarm goes off in the morning and it’s time to get-up and face the day. The thoughts we have in those first few minutes are creating the entire day. A very simple truth of life is what we believe is what will be true for us. If we believe that there is not enough time to get everything we need done, then there won’t be. If we believe that we’re going to be late, then we will be. As a mom of twins and an elder daughter, time has always been a challenge for me, especially in the morning. And particularly when there’s one child that operates at snail pace in the morning. Going into a flat panic, I would shout “there’s not enough time, we’re going to be late” repeatedly until we fought our way through heavy traffic and obstacles; and we would be late, every morning, no matter how much I planned and tried to be on time. Then I changed my first thoughts and words to “We are always on time and we have enough time to do everything we need to do”. The crazy part is since then, no matter how slow my children go, we always seem to be on time, with breakfast eaten and lunches packed.
What do you believe about being on time and having enough time? What beliefs could you create that would change time for you?
Taking stock of your time
Each day is made up of 24 hours, of which we need to sleep for at least 5 hours for some, and up to 8 hours for others. That leaves with at least 16 hours of awake time. Stop for a second and contemplate what you do with the time that you are awake in the day. And then contemplate whose time you are living on. Consider if your day is filled with tasks which are high on your list of priorities and match your values. Or whether you rush through the day, just getting things done and helping others meet their objectives. When we take stock of our time, we realize how much time we actually have in a day. And we realize that we get to ultimately choose whether we fill our days with tasks we value or that which others value, that’s where our choice lies.
How would you love your day to look, according to your values?
After taking stock of how you spend your time, perhaps you’re already filling your day with high priority tasks according to your values and you’re cool. Or perhaps you’ve realised that you spend your days running around meeting other people’s highest values by people pleasing. It’s one thing lending a kind hand to others when in need, yet it’s a completely new story when you are chasing tasks all day purely for acceptance and approval. When we respect ourselves and our time, it’s easy to say “no” to other people’s requests which we really just don’t want to do nor have the time and resources to. And it’s then easier to say “yes” to ourselves and our highest priorities. Remember that if it’s not an absolute Yes, then it’s a definite No.
When do you say yes when you actually want to say no? What boundaries do you need to set in place?
Being “on time” is not always the best time
Consider for a moment the people who were “late” for work on the morning of 9/11. Were they late for work or were they actually perfectly on time because their tardiness actually saved their lives? So often we think we are late for something, when actually we are arriving at the best time for us. Time is a concept constructed by humans to control everything. When we let go of the need to control time and allow ourselves to arrive at the best time for us, we alleviate so much stress and take back our power. A great affirmation, whenever needing to arrive at a certain time or when stressed about being late, is “I have arrived at the best time for me, I am safe”. By doing this, you’re putting yourself at ease, and even if you are “late” according to the standards, you’ll find that when you get there, you’re perfectly on time for yourself, for some reason only you will understand.
How do you feel about arriving “on time”?
Make time for yourself always
Regardless of how many people may pass through your life as friends, family, acquaintances or colleagues, there is only one person who stays with you throughout eternity. You… you are your only true best friend. When we ignore our own needs and requests, in exchange for meeting other’s needs and requests, we are hurting ourselves and constructing a storm of emotions inside, which when let loose, can hurt everyone around us. When we give ourselves the time we need by allowing ourselves precious “me time”, we are respecting and loving ourselves. And when we respect and love ourselves, we feel good. And when we feel good, we are so much stronger and able to take care of our children and all our responsibilities with confidence and ease. Begin with scheduling 5 minutes a day in your diary just for you. And do something you love, regardless of what it is, alone.
What do you love to do that makes you feel good?
The truth is that Time is infinite and never ends. Once we’ve spent it, we can’t get it back. As we value ourselves, we value our time. And the more we value our time, the easier it is to decide what we do with it, on our terms. Time is a choice, stay in the moment of now and make each moment count ~ Alison Livanos